Sunday, February 26, 2017

I Cheated On My Wife (With Netflix)

I tried to do it on the sly but she caught me. The temptation was just too great. The seductive lure was just too much. I thought that I would have the willpower to resist. I thought I could fake my way if confronted. I stood in front of the mirror practicing surprised faces just to seem convincing. But they always know when you're lying.

I'm coming clean right here and now because I feel so guilty. She went away for business and I couldn't resist. It just sort of, happened.

We've all been there right? You're home alone and the kids are asleep. Your husband is snoring away for the thirtieth consecutive day and you need something to keep you occupied while he saws logs. After trying to read a book by cellphone light and Facebook become boring, it's time for a little more action. So you inevitably stray because let's face it, he's never going to know.

I've done it. You've done it. It's time for us to all come clean. We all have watched an episode of our favorite show without our significant other.

In fact, new data reveals 46% of streaming couples around the world are watching ahead of their partners and 60% of them said that they would cheat more if they knew they could get away with it. So let's just clear the air here. Have you ever cheated while your significant other was sleeping? Have you hid in the bathroom and feigned stomach issues so you could squeeze in another twenty minutes unperturbed?

Chances are if you have kids, you've had to bribe them not to let Daddy know they saw you watching The OA without him.  Hey, I get it. No judgement from me. I get the guilty feeling though because if you started to think about all the things you have streamed through together, it's hard to imagine someone streaming without you.

Honestly, waiting until they come back from a business trip not knowing if they are streaming from the hotel room while they are away or catching something on mobile while on a long work lunch. It's anyone's guess just how far they've gone on their own.

Being the streamee instead of the streamer can be rough. It's that feeling that you get when someone doesn't hold the door open for you on the elevator and then watches you reach out for the door knowing you can't make it but making no attempt to help. Then you have to find the time on your own to catch up and streaming it alone just doesn't feel the same.

Here are some tips from Netflix on how to be a better cheater and not get caught. Oh, I didn't learn my lesson, I'm still going to do it because I can. What show do you like to cheat on?  Leave your confession below. I promise I won't tell if you don't.

  • Among those in a relationship who would stream cheat, the highest percentage said they would be likely do so at home by themselves on the main TV (66%). Scandalously, 21% would watch in bed while their significant other was asleep and 5% said they would cheat in the bathroom.
  • Perhaps to get out of sleeping on the couch, results showed that many would take some kind of action to either hide or face the fact that they watched a TV program via streaming before their significant other, of whom…
  • 41% would not spoil scenes before they happened. 14% would feel so guilty that they would have to confess.  12% would re-watch and “fake it” with emotion. If there’s one thing that can lead to more trouble, it’s “faking it.”
  • A little more reckless with their viewing habits, younger couples (26% ages 18-34) were more likely to have “cheated5” than older couples (10% ages 55+).
  • And while it can be said that men get a bad rap for “cheating,” the study showed incriminating evidence, with over three quarters (77%) of men 18-34 in a relationship saying they would “cheat” – a significantly higher percentage than among attached women 18-34 (57%). Sorry guys, we’re just sharing the numbers.

Disclaimer : This post was brought to you by DadNCharge on behalf of the Netflix #StreamTeam. All opinions are my own. 

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