But, you both work long hours, your day doesn't just come to an end at night, and you have to get up the next day and do it all over again and again, and again.
Through observations in a stay at home dad group I help admin, I have noticed some issues between SAHDs and their spouses. Luckily, my wife and I have learned some things along the way during these past six years of being at home. If your husband is staying at home or thinking about it, you may want to keep these suggestions in mind.
1) Let it Go.Sorry if you are now singing that Frozen song. You are going to need to let your at home dad do things his way. I know it is hard and there are things that are going to bug you, like that he wipes the counter counterclockwise instead of clockwise but we are hoping you can let that slide. He is going to have to find out on his own what his schedule on his terms will be. Suggestions on how to make things more efficient are fine but in the end, we will want to do things our own way. Imposing your will on us may just shut us down more. Let us figure it out and come up with a schedule that fits with our parenting style.
2) Don't Nag.Nothing is going to get us motivated less than when you are constantly asking us to do something. We are aware of our shortcomings and in most cases, we are trying to find that balance between caring for the kids and managing the household duties. Give us some time. Sometimes, things go by the wayside because we get overwhelmed.
3) Set Clear ExpectationsSit down together and communicate about the things you expect to be accomplished each day. Some couples think that just managing to keep the kids alive and healthy is enough but others may have other expectations about cleanliness, meal preparation, etc. Make sure, in the end that you are on the same page. This will help cut down on problems later.
4) Cleaning HouseIf we were anal retentive when you met us with things needing to be clean, this is probably carrying over into our lives with the kids, maybe even more so. But, if you remember a time when you met us where we maintained our apartment but it didn't meet your standards, this is more than likely what is going to continue in the home especially when you add the kids into the mix.
Cleaning sucks and there are lots of things we would rather do than clean that space between the toilet seat and the tank, like play with the kids. Do a floor check. Get down on the ground and play with the kids. See things from their level. If you are disgusted and would rather but a blanket down before lying in that filth then it is time to put on your Mr. Clean hat.