Friday, March 21, 2014

I Get To Do This

A post on Forbes ranked the nine toughest leadership roles that someone can hold. Stay at home parent was number one.

It beat out Corporate CEO, United States Congressperson, Editor for Daily Newspaper (whatever that is), Mayor, Rabbi, Pastor, Mullah, or other Holy Leader, Football Coach, Second In Command of any Organization, and University President. I'm calling bullshit.

I'll be the first guy to celebrate all the things we do as stay at home parents. It is a tough job and it has it's ups and downs no less than any other job.  Being a stay at home parent is tough and it takes sacrifice but, it also takes a willing partnership to really make it work.

It takes trust and confidence in each other's abilities. One supports the other in a partnership of epic proportions.

There is a saying in boy scouts that we don't "have" to do anything, that we "get" do it instead. The same thing holds true for my job as a stay at home dad. Without my wife, I wouldn't be here. If she wasn't successful at providing for our family I would be teaching and most likely, missing out on all these moments with my kids. I get to stay at home because of her.

It is because of my wife, a working mom, that any of this even happens. It is the working parent that has it tough. It is the working parent who gets dumped on too often when unfortunately, money is what makes the world go round and not kisses on boo-boos or making the kid's lunches.

She is the one that has to leave the teary eyed kids in the morning. Our three year old often says "You're going to work AGAIN?" to which she replies "Yes honey, I love going to work"

 She deals with the kids with such grace though let's face it, she LOVES to work. Not because she wants to leave us for the day but because she really excels at what she does. We remind the kids that she does love it. It's not all about money because we don't want our kids to think that is the reason behind work. Love what you do and the fact that you get paid for it will make it even sweeter.

Working parents sacrifice everything for the good of their family. They go in early, they work late and they miss out on things that they wish they didn't have to watch from a previously recorded program. I love seeing my son's play or my daughter's concert in person but honestly I wish my wife could be there with me to see it too.

My wife's work doesn't begin and end at the office. It is a constant struggle to fight through emails and make the meetings and to deliver all these things on time because people need things NOW, NOW. NOW. Dealing with the kids is sort of the same but the difference is they can wait. Or rather, that you can teach them how to wait for their constant need for Goldfish. Businesses don't take timeouts. If you want to get anywhere, you need to deliver and that is what she does for us.

It's stressful to be the the primary breadwinner. So much is riding on your success. The family is depending on you to bring home the bacon. I can only imagine the number of times where she has just wanted to walk out or scream only to look up in her office and see a picture of our family and know that she has to forge ahead. Thank you honey, we literally owe everything to you.

We know that you sacrifice your time and energy into everything you do. The fact that you have anything left in the tank to deal with me and the kids during your "down time" is a testament to your strength.

Thank you for having faith in me to take care of the children. Thank you for supporting me when I'm down and picking me up when I most need it. Thank you for taking care of us and providing for the things we need. Thank you for letting me "get to" do this.


  1. You are one lucky fellow to be in this situation and I envy you because I would love to be able to see the school concerts in the middle of the day every time they are on. Just this week our son's class did their presentation during assembly and I was off at a conference. As I write this on Saturday morning, I do so while having breakfast before getting ready to go back to the conference because this one continues on until Sunday night leaving me to miss out on 3 parties this weekend. Our eldest son is disappointed because Daddy is the one who takes the kids to parties because my wife normally works on Saturdays although she has the day off today.

    A great piece of writing and kudos to your wife for providing for your family and fodder for your blog.

  2. We are the luckiest guys! Great piece, Chris!

  3. I agree 100%! As a fellow sahd, I sometimes feel guilty seeing my wife leave for work in the morning just knowing it hurts to leave our daughter. But, we both agreed to this and it just works out a lot better and our relationship has actually improved. I have been wanting to write a post just about the wonders of my lovely working wife, but maybe I should just point her to this post.

    Anyway, great blog and thanks for the good read!

    1. Thanks R.C. and thanks for reading. Many of my SAHD friends have shared it with their wives so share away!