Looking back on another year of staying at home with the kids I began to think about some of the things that make me go hmmmm.... Here are some of 2012's greatest hits.
1) You are going to lose socks in the washing/drying process. For some reason you never lose underwear or a shirt but ALWAYS socks. I don't know where all those darn socks went to and I know I am never going to find them.
2) The hot dog to bun ratio is ALWAYS going to be off. This honestly seems like a conspiracy to me. I know that I bought an eight pack of buns and an eight pack of hot dogs but then it seems like there are never enough of either one to please the kiddos.
3) You will constantly be doing dishes/washing bottles and laundry. I have taught my kids that if it doesn't smell, you can wear it again, except for underwear and socks and I STILL feel like I am constantly doing another load in the washing machine.
4) You will be amazed at the lack of judgement your kids will display. They are curious and will try out lots of things. My son once wondered what it would be like if he pushed his head through the opening of our cat tower until he got stuck. He never did that again.
5) Waiting for the babysitter to arrive when you and your wife are going out is how kids feel the night before Christmas or the day before their birthday. It is a real gift that should be cherished.
6) There is no bathroom cleaner that can claim that it is natural and still able to handle the stains. All bathroom cleaners have a smell even though they claim there are no harmful fumes. When in doubt, open a window first.
7) If you have cats, they will most certainly always barf on carpeting even though you only have half of your house covered in carpeting. If you have rugs on hardwood floors they will never puke on them...they will always go for the carpeting. I know not why they always are barfing or why they do it on the carpet.
8) I am not sure who coined the phrase "Don't cry over spilled milk" Have you ever tried to clean up spilled milk? That shit is sticky especially if some Froot Loops have been swimming in it and have enlarged to eight times their normal size. Cleaning up spilled milk sucks
9) Your kids will always throw a tantrum when you are late for an activity. It could be nanoseconds before you need to leave and they will just lose it.
10) Cherish your time at home. Almost every dad I have met this year who have asked what I do for a living sigh and say "Man, I WISH I could do that!"