Tuesday, August 14, 2012

To Leash or Not to Leash, That is the question

I was thinking today that I would head off with the kids on an adventure. Philly has a great Children's Museum called the Please Touch Museum. Everything is hands on and it makes for a great time and keeps the kids busy.

The problem is, that I am alone once again without my wife. During the week I usually am but with school being out I have three to contend with instead of two. If you have kids and are thinking that a third is right for you just know that you are going from one on one to zone defense. As a stay at home dad taking them anywhere means they are on a fast break and I am about to get posterized. I would just it rather not be a picture someone took of me on their cell phone while I am losing it in a public place. "Hey check that guy out, his head might explode!"

It's a situation I would rather not be in. Any chance my 19 month old gets, she takes off and gleefully looks back to see if I am chasing her. While this is fun running the circuit from our dining room to living room to kitchen it is not so fun in a crowd of surly Philadelphians who have also given chase to their kids and may or may not clothesline me on the way to mine.

If only there was some way to contain her...oh yes, there is ONE way.

The child leash. There is merit to such an idea though before I was a parent I would look at people who had their kids on these in disgust. It only really becomes an issue if you are treating your kids like a dog and not a child as is demonstrated by many still shots of parents at Wal-Mart.

It is clear that not unlike uncouth dog owners some parents abuse this child leash. You may not tie your kid outside a Starbucks while you go in for free Wi-Fi. If your kid is not following the command "come" you are not allowed to drag them ANYWHERE. Someone who did this was shopping for a cell phone case and apparently didn't want the bedazzled one that said "BITCH" to be picked up by anyone else. Your kid should not become a human Swiffer either. If your kid is not behaving pick them up and take them home, remove them from the situation regardless of where you are. Saving face is much better than losing your spot in the checkout line.

The leash is to prevent your kids from getting lost, snatched or harmed so you should in no way be using it like something that undoes all that. This is why this kid leash has such a bad rap.

A child leash can prevent the little person from accessing their favorite things at this age which may be open streets, crowds of people, exit doors that may alarm when opened, sharp objects, ridiculously long flights of stairs and a million other things I see in my head. I think that the makers realized that people might shy away from such an invention by attempting to soften it by adding a plush animal to the restraint and calling it a "backpack" that just so happens to have a cord attached to it for you to hold.

Using it places like Disney, airports, and just about any vacation destination I can think of has merit but what will people think when they see my kid in one? I mean, this kid looks like he is building some serious muscle. Maybe I could attach a parachute to the end of this thing for some resistance training.

I didn't end up going but I probably will tomorrow and without a kid leash. I guess I am old school like that plus, I do need the exercise. Unless someone can convince me otherwise I am going to let my kids run free.

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