Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Boycott Huggies

Good thing you are a diaper company Huggies because you should be ready for a shit storm. Your current advertising campaign "Put Dad to the Test" is an inaccurate portrayal of dads as incompetent care givers who are inferior to moms everywhere. While I understand that there are still more moms that stay at home that is quickly changing. Instead of making dads appear like bumbling incompetent nitwits you should have created a campaign that celebrates the change that more dads are staying at home. After I saw your 30 second clip I was disgusted and wanted to do something about it. If the reaction on Facebook alone to your page is any indication of what is to come, you have lost and alienated a lot of consumers who may have already been buying into your brand. Good luck with that. You just gave me another reason to buy Pampers. Go to to sign the petition.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Valentines Shmalentines

What the heck is the deal with parents giving these teachers giant gift bags of candy? I know I dropped the ball on Christmas, New Years, and now Valentine's Day but seriously, I don't enjoy being ogled when my son/daughter has nothing to offer but his/her warm, radiant company. What happened to making something with your own two hands? As a teacher it was a nice surprise to get something for Christmas, even a little something for other small holidays but I can tell you we certainly don't count on it.

Teachers, you are just lucky that I am getting to these kids to school on time wearing underwear although with Sarah in mind that is sometimes a question mark. Yesterday, I saw a mom come to ballet class with a huge gift bag with chocolates, a stuffed teddy bear with a heart, and a chocolate rose for the ballet teacher. The ballet teacher, people. She teaches my four year old once a week how to twirl. Maybe my son's first grade teacher deserves more but this past Christmas when every person in the class (18) chipped in for a gift card I am pretty sure she got a $1000 Christmas bonus. Man, I taught in the wrong district. People are making it rain with money here but you don't need to run out and give your kid's teacher a bear so big she will have to strap it to the hood of her Prius!

For a moment it made me feel inadequate, not because of the giant bear but because it made me feel like I SHOULD have been getting something all along. Instead, I let my daughter make her own Valentines with her bare hands and I didn't help AT ALL! Gasp! It's time to get back to "it's the thought that counts" mentality. When I was a teacher the thing I cherished most were the kids' words. If they wrote me something that was meaningful or made me something themselves there is a chance I still have it. While that teddy bear may be around for awhile it really has no staying power. So stay at home parents unite, be strong, and resist the urge to spend, spend, spend. Your hearts will thank you for it.

Love is in the air

My son is 6, almost 7 and is turning into a playa before my very eyes. Before his 1st grade Valentine's Day party he requested that when I bought him some store Valentines to pick out "manly" ones for the boys and "romantic" ones for the girls. This, coming from a kid who whenever he sees a boy and girl kiss in a show says "Ewwwww, gross!" I think it is a front. He told his mom that he thinks he is twitterpated with this girl at school. If you have ever seen Bambi this is what happens to the young males during mating season but in regular Disney form it is told in a much gentler way. For some reason he is not telling me this stuff about girls although I suspect it is because I sometimes tease him about his "girlfriends". I guess I shouldn't because I do think it is cute. His friend Ava is a nice little girl. She invited him to an all girls birthday party at a swimming pool and this weekend he and a few other boys are invited to a mostly girls birthday party in which they will be engaging in gymnastics activities! I guess it is because I have always tried to teach him to respect girls even if his sisters are annoying him or bothering him. The love that he shows to Heidi and Sarah is amazing. Still...I am missing out in him confiding about his romantic interests. It seems that his friend Ava, whose parents work for Villanova, wants to marry Adam and she wants him to go to Villanova with her. It's all moving so fast. Maybe I should cut down his intake of Usher songs.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Supermarket Surprise

If you hate the grocery store as much as I do you find creative ways to make it fun. With Adam and even Sarah sometimes, I would take them to the store and let them hold something and repeat its name. Then I would promptly put it back before they either licked it or took a baby bite out of it. If you REALLY want to make it fun play Supermarket Surprise. This entails you taking a cranky kid to the grocery store that is borderline meltdown prone. When the baby starts to crank it up and you are trying to stick to your list you may have to speed up the process a little. Towards the end of the run, you will be grabbing things on your way out just to make it to the check out line before the A-Bomb drops. After surviving the screaming car ride put the baby down for a nap. Then, the real fun begins. Unload the groceries and see what you have. Finally, take your random ingredients and figure out what to make with them. It's sort of like a Chopped show only you are the idiot who put all these things in your cart.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Super Bowl Recap

Yesterday, while working out I was on an elliptical next to two women who were talking about the Superbowl. Well, not exactly. They were talking about Madonna's halftime show and like the analysts on ESPN they were recapping her performance like it was the Superbowl. These are some excerpts from that conversation. "What was with that Roman theme? I didn't get that at all?" "What did you think of her outfit?" "Not a good choice, she was covering up too much...that's NOT Madonna at all" "Did you see how she almost fell?" "Yeah, she just didn't look comfortable up there what is wrong with her?" "I loved all the flips she was doing...can you believe she is 53?" "Yeah, that gives me some hope" I wouldn't say I was exactly eavesdropping but ESPN wasn't on in my bank of TVs unfortunately so I was hearing the play by play like I was actually there. I saw the performance and for a 53 year old doing all those flips and the cameos by other artists I thought it was pretty cool. I was kind of hoping for a wardrobe malfunction (Where was Justin Timberlake when you needed him?} but these ladies were right, she was pretty covered up for Madonna. According to the analysts to my left much like Tom Brady, she just didn't show up.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Being stood up for a playdate is like a real date, only your kid's heart gets broken

Yesterday, I had set up a playdate with one of Sarah's friends from preschool. I set it up a week in advance which gave Sarah a week of asking me if today was the day that her friend was coming over. A week to a preschooler can seem like eternity and the endless questions about which day it was on made me feel like it would never come either. I confirmed with the mom the day and time and the morning of the big day I emailed the mom a reminder about the appointment later in the day. I set it up for after lunch, giving us a good two hour window before the baby would get tired and need her nap.

This was our first time hosting this particular friend after we had been to their house twice for a birthday party and an awesome cookie decorating party that took place around Christmas. I felt it was our time to be the hosts and much easier for me not to worry about the baby because we would be home. Lunch is over and Sarah is waiting by the front door. After another hour of questions, she curls up into a ball on the floor and asks "Is she EVER coming over?" At this point, I am feeling guilty for ever reminding her that today was the day but I totally relied on this other parent to bail me out. Called said parent's cell phone, no answer. Left a voicemail stressing that I hoped they were on their way for the playdate. Thirty minutes later she calls. Turns out this particular day was 63 degrees and sunny and they had gone to the park already. Could I come to the park instead? Really? If it were me, I would apologize and immediately try to figure out another day we could do it. Instead she said "Let's catch up another time" Madawk (which means mad awkward). I had planned that we would play outside in our driveway. We took all the balls, car, bikes out. We had the chalks for writing in the driveway, and the mini slide ready to go. So, I did what any dad would do in this situation. I became her playdate and I did whatever tit took to make her forget about it for awhile.

I understand that it was a nice day but that excuse was lame. She said that she forgot and she apologized but if it were a crappy day would they have been here? In this age of smart phones and cell phones I find it hard to believe that during all this time I tried to contact her she "missed" that opportunity. It is hard enough trying to find kids for her to play with. Making friends for your kids is not easy and this time, this parent made it extra tough.