Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Spontaneous Laughter

Is there anything more infectious than your kid just busting out and laughing? Heidi has started to do this at 11 months old and all I can think of is Beavis and Butthead. Yeah! Formula. Kick ass! This is going to be cool. He he he he.

I especially love those deep belly laughs. Today, she pointed to herself in the car and said "cat" which is what she calls just about everything and then she started laughing hysterically. Staying at home is a tough. More than once this week I have thought about what it would be like to go back to work teaching at some school nearby and then Heidi has to go and do something cute and remind me of what I would be missing out on. Darn you Heidi. They keep pulling me back in and I can't resist.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011


I consider myself a pretty strong guy. I work out three times a week, lift weights and have never met a pickle jar I couldn't open. So why is it that my 11 month daughter can overpower me? Heidi summons super strength at the worst possible time. It usually is mid-wipe of a nasty poop that has decided to creep up her back. She turns more violently than a croc doing a death roll and yet, I still cannot change her diaper without incident. You would think that babies would be into someone taking care of their nether regions but once I put her on the changing table she immediately freaks out. So I try to pin her down with one arm while attempting a change with the other but once she sees her opening, it's death roll time. I guess it is that fight or flight instinct that is ingrained in each of us. She is fighting for survival I suppose and doesn't want to be on her back for any given moments in time. It's completely my wife's side of the family because they always need to Go, Go, Go. I just wish sometimes it was I just went, went, went and I need to relax, relax, relax. I try to think if I were in her shoes how would I want this to go down. I guess some relaxing music might distract me but my rendition of Itsy, Bitsy Spider as my go to song is probably not the best choice for a soothing changing song. Just you wait Heidi. When it's my turn to be in diapers there is going to be payback.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Praise the Inventors

You just ran to the grocery store and your cart is chock full. Your daughter, who you saw go to the bathroom not 30 minutes ago is doing the potty dance in the aisle. You know her standard response "I don't have to go" but you know that it is coming. A trip to the bathroom wouldn't be that bad except that your 10 month old loves putting EVERYTHING in her mouth. Luckily, most stores don't put water cookies in the urinals but everything in there is disgusting and your baby, as Ruxin on The League states "will forever me unclean!" I mean, who wants to kiss a baby on the face when her fingers have been purusing the seat where some hourly employeed spent the last twenty minutes on his break?

That is why I say "Praise the inventors!" You have to love the jump seat that stores are starting to put in bathrooms. A five point harness that essentially pins your baby to the wall away from anything they can touch? Genius! This is a thing of beauty because you have suddenly become hands free and can help your daughter successfully navigate the pitfalls of the public restroom. I first saw this seat in a Wegmans grocery store and just today saw one in a Acme grocery store. KUDOS to you guys for being forward thinking. Even better? Wegmans installed flip up steps so kids don't have to cliffhanger the sink just to wash their hands.

Thanks inventors for being considerate of us parents with kids in tow and thanks for the closer parking spaces. You rock!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Future Princess

My daughter, Sarah was asked at pre-school what she wanted to be when she grew up. She answered "A princess!" They traced their silhouettes out on butcher paper and hung them up in the classroom. Some people may groan at this but not me. If you have daughters you have undoubtedly been inundated with the Disney Princess culture. Every store carries every imaginable princess item from socks to pencils to toothbrushes. Fact is, it is great marketing. Unfortunately in the media there isn't many Supergirls to look up to and no cartoons that I can think of other than Wordgirl that demonstrate that a girl can be smart AND tough.

Many of you have probably read Peggy Orenstein's "Cinderella Ate My Daughter" and while these portrayals in the long run may hurt our daughters I say embrace your little princess while you can. It's cute and your daughter will love playing princess with her Daddy King. Being a teacher who has taught K-8 kids and later high school kids that transformation from your little princess to hardened Daria-type teenager may eventually happen. What is important now is that you establish a bond that will transgress time and maintain that bond with your daughter through the years.

My favorite princess is Belle because she loves books, believes in the good in all people, and she is an independent thinker. You can take what you see are good attributes in these princesses and highlight what is important. Listen, every girl loves to be a princess. It starts with prom, cotillions, weddings etc. Millions of grown women who tuned into the Royal Wedding at 3-4 in the morning can't be wrong. There is just something about that fairytale mystique that draws us in. It's true that media portrays a false sense of identity for women today. Lots of girls will look at themselves and compare what they see with what they think society is deemed beautiful. It's our job to stress to our daughters that it is important to be ourselves and not change because other people want us to look a certain way.

In the meantime, I am going to enjoy my little princess while I can and even though she won't want me to call her that in 10 years at least I can think of this time we have together in our royal court.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

What's your legacy?

Adam likes to play this game where you give three clues and other people need to guess what the object is that includes those three things. This morning his clues are : It's tall, it farts a lot and has big farts, and is gigantic. I didn't raise my hand because I knew what it was...a troll right? No, Sarah guesses Daddy, and is right! What the hell? How about some other clues like: He wipes my ass, he makes sure I have clean underwear, or he plays with us? I guess I need to re-access my priorities. Clearly I am not getting through to these kids. Back to the drawing board. Operation Dad's image must be addressed.