Sunday, May 23, 2010

We just don't have the chops for it

While on vacation Sarah was wearing a fluffy tutu. You know the kind that teenagers wear now, the ones that seem to be in fashion? Sarah loves to dress up like a princess. My daily routine involves trying to find something that is comparable enough to sidestep the ball gown she insists on wearing. Ball gowns are not so good for climbing yet she is determined to show me that a princess can deftly maneuver intricate death traps on playground equipment to justify wearing it.

Anyways, these kinds of clothes, maybe made famous by a character on Sex in the City (my wife watched it, OK?) draws attention to itself. "Oh she is so cute!" or "I love your beautiful ball gown!" It's this kind of attention that got my 5 year old boy wondering, and he asks me "How come everyone talks about Sarah and never me?" It's true that it is hard to resist the princess and her vast array of wardrobe changes but I felt I had to level with Adam. Truth is buddy, guys clothes are boring. What do guys have? Plaid, stripes, solids. That's it. Three choices. Maybe that is why I love to wear T-shirts so much. At least they have the potential to express themselves. Hmmm, should I wear this plaid with this khaki, or this stripe with this cargo? Ladies, you have infinite possibilities, which makes it harder to pick but at least you HAVE choices. Look at a catalog that sells woman's clothes versus men. Eddie Bauer gives three quarters to the women, then come luggage, THEN come the men section. Plaid, stripes, solids. Sometimes when i am getting dressed I feel like Fred Flintstone. Odds are, I am going to be wearing a plaid, a stripe, or a solid. I am not asking for Ed Hardy ridiculousness, just something different. I am not talking different like Hawaiian shirt either. It's not like I am going to St. Lucia again anytime soon, so let's look at what we do have.

Little boys clothes are just as lame. Once you get past the infant walking stage, when they start expressing their opinions about what is "cute" you get severely limited. If you grew up in the 90's you probably owned a pair of overalls. You know, the kind that you wore one strap up and the other off? Who came up with that idea? I always liked overalls but for kids they are just a disaster. Especially when they give you that special blowout poop present that comes all the way out the top of the diaper. After that, for boys, it is either vehicles, superheroes, or something dirt related. So I guess they prepare us early in life. It's the toddler's version of plaids, stripes, solids. Take a walk into a Carter's and look around, it is just like walking into any store. Color explosion on the girls' side like a rainbow threw up in there and mostly neutrals with splashes of primary and secondary color on the boy's side.

So, back to my son's predicament. My brother in law tried to explain; he spoke from experience what it was like to have a younger sister who stole the spotlight. The best we could come up with was that bigger is better and that he could do things that the younger sister couldn't do. Little consolation for his lack of "cute" eye catching wardrobe choices. I guess he will have to suck it up and look forward to plaids, stripes, and solids instead.

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