The Story of DadNCharge

People say all the time "You stay at home? Was that by choice?" While I realize that sometimes the economy being so bad has forced some men to stay at home (those lucky dogs) let me share my story. My wife and I always planned on me staying at home. I am the one with an abundance of patience. I am the one that loved kids enough that I wanted to become a teacher and be around them all the time.

Before I became dadncharge I was working at a high school, I was tenured and I had seven years of service in a high school district with ten total years of teaching. I coached freshman girls basketball and loved every minute of it. I got to teach my passion in life, drawing and photography and things couldn't have been better. We lived in a suburb of Chicago in a brand new home that we customized to our liking. It was our first house together. We were living the dream.

My wife is a career woman and someone who was convinced that she would never have kids. I changed all that. She was/is a rising star in the corporate world and I knew I would do whatever it took to help her make that happen. We had our first child, a son and the first grandson in our family, Adam, in 2005. My wife and I continued to work and on the weekends we would say to our awesome day care provider "We'll try to stick to the schedule and not screw it up too much"

Soon my wife had the baby bug again and in 2007 we had our beautiful daughter, Sarah Jane. My wife and I continued to work and we would witness something we had seen for the first time with our kids only to be told on Monday by the day care person "Oh, she's been doing that for awhile now". After that we asked her to just pretend she wasn't doing anything special or out of the ordinary so we could witness it for the "first time". Each time we picked the kids up at the end of the day and asked how they were doing our day care provider would say "Oh, they did good."

In June of 2008, my wife accepted a new job in her hometown, close to her parents, and we decided it would be best for me to stay at home with the two kids. My wife is awesome. She is the best organizer and the perfect project manager but, she also has her particular way of doing things as I also have my way of doing things. Knowing this I asked her "If I stay at home who is going to be in charge?" She said "You are. You will be the Dad in Charge." "So you are saying I am a D.I.C ?" I said. "Yes, you will be a D.I.C." I started writing things down that the kids said or did that was funny. Soon, I discovered this blogging thing quite by accident. My wife bought me the vanity plate and in NY State they gave just enough letters to fully express what my new job was. This is how DadNCharge came to be.

In December of 2010, we had our final child, Heidi. We have been blessed with great kids. One of the perks of being at home is being able to see the kids grow and watch their personalities emerge. Now I also don't have to worry about missing anything because I am right there day in and day out raising the kids. So I tell the people that ask if it was by choice "Yes, and it was the greatest decision I have ever made about a career." Our kids aren't going to be little forever. I am just glad that I have this chance to be with them while they are.

How Not to Mess Up Breastfeeding

My wife never was one who thought she was going to have kids. She was a career woman until I, a teacher of art, came into her life. My life was all about kids and well, somehow I wore her down and convinced her to have some. Once this happens, and if your wife has a relatively easy pregnancy, she will usually let it happen again. When it came to the conception of our second and third kids, my wife planned it all out. My wife is organized and I'll be damned if there wasn't a spreadsheet that I had to initial on the back of the bedroom door when we were trying.

Our son was born in 2005 and other than that time she nearly passed out while driving because of the baby's position on some major arteries, her pregnancy was uneventful. After that event, my wife was put on bedrest, which for her was the worst sentence. When the doctor told her she couldn't drive or fly anywhere she looked at her like she had a second head. She's always on the go and had planned to work up until the very moment our boy arrived. Instead, she worked from home, thus interfering with our plan to deliver at a hospital that was 15 minutes from her work... now 45 minutes from our home. Kids have a way of changing your plans.

Okay, onto the subject at hand... Breastfeeding... As mentioned, Adam was born in 2005, and we discovered pretty quickly that he was not successful at latching on to nurse and after many frustrating days and nights we called in a lactation consultant. For weeks we did what was called finger feeding. This involved using what was basically a beer bong for breast milk that you taped to your finger. You sit there letting the baby suck on your finger hoping they will get the sucking idea down without clamping down. The whole process took lots of time and was frustrating. I would sit there cheering him on like a college frat party "Come on, chug, chug, chug!" In the end, we saved ourselves the ongoing agony and turned to the bottle. He seems to have turned out okay, by the way.

Despite the whole breastfeeding experience for my wife, she graciously decided to have another one with me in 2007. A girl this time, whom I totally interfered with in the breastfeeding process. I wanted to be a part of everything, and I mean everything. I'm such an idiot. This is something that I want to caution all new eager dads about. I was on my leave from teaching high school I was so anxious about quieting the baby and I missed the bottle feeding time I had with Adam. So lets just say I was not so patient waiting for my wife to come home from the store, or work, to feed Sarah. With her only 20 minutes away, I would give in to my temptation and snuggle up to her with the bottle. That's right, I stole her thunder. I sabotaged the breastfeeding. This my dad friends is how to successfully mess up breastfeeding. My wife would be taking a quick break running to the store, and she'd come home ready to burst with no hungry baby waiting - instead just a machine ready to milk her like a cow. Don't be a jerk. Hold off unless your wife gives you permission - we have cell phones and texting now after all - I mean, it isn't like it was in 2007! If your wife is working and pumping at work she can't wait to release those puppies for the real deal baby when she gets home. New dads, let me give you some advice. Let them have their time. Don't even suggest a bottle, ask instead how you can help. If you are struggling in the early days, hire a lactation consultant (frequently insurance will help with this expense) because other than motorboating, you have no experience with breasts like these people do.


While attempt number one failed even with a consultant, and I sabotaged number two, by the third time around, in 2010, I finally figured it out with Heidi. I stopped meddling in the baby/mommy time. Instead I focused on taking care of my wife while she took care of the baby. I watched the other two kids while she had special bonding time with Heidi. She gave me strict instructions to back off. She even stayed in the guest room with the baby, away from distractions (me) and managed the feeding schedule on her own. She got coaching from friends who had nursed. I too finally got it right and let my wife have her glorious nursing experience with at least one of our kids. This was her time - I've got my own time. Sorry honey, but like most things you have to say it at least three times before I really get it.



If our lives were an episode of Scooby Doo, my wife would have been the one saying "I tried to get these kids to nurse.... If it weren't for that meddling husband, I would have gotten away with it." The best advice I can give to new dads and dads who are building additions to their house is, don't meddle. Be supportive. Keep your wife hydrated. Call in the experts. Fluff her pillows. No, not those pillows! Bring them some Lansinoh. Wash her laundry - including her breast shields. Someday those fabulous fun-bags will again be yours so don't mess this up. Do whatever it takes to support her breasts!

Just know this, those things, as tremendous as they are, are NOT for you. If you experience anything beyond looking at them and marvelling at them you are one lucky bastard. Breastfeeding boobs are like porn star boobs. If only for a period of time, at least you can have those mental snapshots. Camera 1, Camera 2.

Hoop Dreams

As a Chicago Bulls fan, I am enjoying their recent defeat of the Brooklyn Nets in the first round and their first playoff win against the Big Three, which is really just the Lebron Show, in my estimation. And, while it might turn into that in this series, my Bulls are a gritty team that relies on defense and the Bench Mob to take on so called Superstar teams.

I love watching old clips of the Bulls Dynasty. I was in high school when they won their first three championships and coined the phrase Three-Peat and in their second championship run, I was in college. It was an exciting time to be a Bulls fan. That excitement carries over into the current series against the Heat whom we have a storied rivalry in last year's playoffs where we were poised again to go all the way until Derrick Rose got injured. The Bulls are very much alive and I look forward to many more wins against the Heat.

For some fans, they are not so lucky. Seeing such dynasty teams as Boston and L.A. go out of the first round without much of a presence must have Laker and Celtics fans pining for the days when their teams dominated. Well, thanks to Shout! Factory, these fans can look back on classic games and relive all the exciting moments with their new app called Basketball Time Machine. When Click Communications asked me to try this new app for free from Shout! Factory, I was excited to see what they had to offer.



This new app for iOS has content as far back as 1932 and includes video from pivotal games and many off the court moments as well. The app catalogues more than 2,000 videos highlighting the best and most exciting moments in pro and college hoops history plus the most memorable TV commercials and off the court moments. All videos can be seamlessly shared across users' social media channels.



This app is awesome. It has a scroll feature that lets you choose the categories which include Best Games, Superstars, Top Plays, Champs, College, Ads, and Fun. In the second scroll feature, you can choose a year which dates from 1932-2013. The left and right arrow lets you advance through each video available for that category and year. I enjoyed watching videos from the Bulls Three Peat Seasons, past classic slam dunk contests, and videos of Ron Artest getting into various fights. Is that why his name is now Metta World Peace? Another added feature is the Random button which selects a video for you from all the categories.



Obvious issues include the use of old video and the fact that some video is shortened for time restriction purposes. The videos also weren't complete and missed some key games especially during the 1991 Bulls Championship season. I would like to see these videos updated and put in order according to year and round and organized by team in the future. Sometimes the images were scrambled and hard to see. Of course, that is mostly because HD was not invented until much later but other than that, but the app is outstanding for the avid basketball fan and at $.99 cents it has more steal potential than Russell Westbrook.

To download Basketball Time Machine please go to:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/basketball-time-machine/id633576645?mt=8


Basketball Time Machine

Basketball Time Machine is a universal iOS app that runs on the iPad, iPod Touch and iPhone mobile devices and is airplay enabled.

Opinions posted here are the thoughts of Chris Bernholdt as DadNCharge who is a rabid NBA fan. Click Communications provided me with a free preview of the app to review it.

They Can't Stay Puppies Forever

In 2008, I started staying at home with the kids. At 6'7', I have played lots of basketball and considered myself a pretty good defender. I could defend one on two no problem. With the wingspan of a condor, I felt that I was going to be OK.

I don't know about other wives but once you have had kids and they aren't totally batshit crazy, your wife will probably want another and another until she gets her fill. However, I knew that with me staying at home, adding more and more kids meant I was quickly going to be outnumbered and that most of my days would consist of defending the fast break as the only guy back on D.

After our first two, which are totally sweet kids, we thought why not have another? What could go wrong? Heidi was a sweet baby. So much unlike Adam and Sarah in just about every category. First of all, she had hair! Which for a Bernholdt baby is unheard of. My other two kids were as bald as Caillou until they were at least two. Clearly they got my family's follically challenged genes. She was tiny when she was born, the other two were monsters. We kept looking at her saying "Where is the rest of her?"

Heidi has more than made up for her differences. She is also the craziest kid we have ever had or ever will have. It's a good thing I took care of that after her because once Heidi passed the baby stage, my wife got that look in her eyes again. I said "You can still call her your baby, even though she is not." She replied "They will ALWAYS be my babies!"

What is up with them growing so fast? My son just turned eight! EIGHT! People always say it goes by so fast and they are right. I know that they can't stay puppies forever.


The other day, I was dropping him off at choir at church. I said "We are going to drop you off, so I need to park the car and go in." He says "I can go in by myself, Dad."

I wasn't ready for it. He didn't even call me Daddy. Sometimes he does but it is less frequent now.

It was the statement of independence. After all this time looking after him and making sure he isn't run over by a car in a parking lot, holding his hand everywhere we went, walking him to activities until I released him to another adult, he was asking to do it himself.

I know that they have to grow up but this is my mini-me and I can honestly say that driving away from the church that day I was a little panicked. I have a pretty overactive imagination and in today's world with all the lurkers and strangers that mean harm, I prayed that he made it safely there.


Realistically, I watched him walk into church, which is a safe place, he is greeted by an adult volunteer and he headed up to the choir room but I still had trouble letting him go. I wanted to turn the car around and get out with all the kids and confirm for myself that he had made it safe and sound.

But, what if I did that after he told me he could do it by himself? Would he feel bad? Would he be embarassed that I didn't trust him to make it on his own? It felt weird to me. I didn't turn the car around but I did call my wife. I told her that I was feeling anxious about the whole thing. I had never just "dropped him off" anywhere before.

Turns out he made it. I knew that he would. It's just that connection you feel after staying at home with him for so long; to see him changing from a baby to a toddler, then becoming a big kid is crazy. Even crazier is knowing eventually he will be a tween, then a teen, and finally an adult! Baby birds have to leave the nest to fly and I am trying to do that even though it is hard.

I am letting him experience life. I am not swooping in when he gets hurt. I know that some things he needs to figure out himself but knowing that doesn't make it any easier to allow it to happen. I miss him being a baby sometimes but looking forward to who he will become excites me more, even if he only just calls me Dad.

May The Fourth Be With You!

I love Star Wars. I probably love it more than my own son, whom I tried to indoctrinate into the culture when he was only four. Our former residence was near the Strong Museum of Play; we attended Star Wars Day. My son and I even went to an outdoor concert to hear all of John Williams' songs and had a fake light saber fight into the wee hours of the the night (well, for him - it was really only 9pm.) If you ask me when the right time to show your kids Star Wars I can tell you, as soon as possible. In fact, 19 other dad bloggers and I participated in answering this question called the Definitive White Paper on When To Expose Your Kids to Star Wars.

When Hasbro then asked me to review their new line of Angry Birds Star Wars toys, I was as excited as Luke Skywalker when he first left Tattoine. Seriously, I was probably more excited than my eight year old son. I have been collecting since I was a kid with my brother and we created our own collection by raiding every garage sale and flea market from Dagobah to Endor. Naturally, I was excited to learn Hasbro decided to take their Angry Birds Star Wars app game into a 3-D game experience.

My son loves video games but even those become trite. Now that he is 8, he has been taking an interest in board games more and more, so Star Wars and Angry Birds? That seemed like a huge winner. Hasbro sent me an Angry Birds Star Wars AT-AT Attack Battle Game, an Angry Birds Star Wars Millennium Falcon Bounce Game, and an Angry Birds Star Wars Foam Flyer.

I used my focus group, my eight year old son, his 7 year old friend, and my 5 year old daughter, to test out the age restrictions for the games which were 5 and up. We tore into the first game Angry Birds Star Wars AT-AT Attack Battle Game, mostly because as a kid, this was one of my prize possessions in the collection. My group couldn't have been more excited, as they plotted their strategy.



ANGRY BIRDS™ STAR WARS® AT-AT™ ATTACK BATTLE GAME
(Approximate retail price: $39.99; Ages: 5 & up. Available: Now)

Stack, launch, and destroy with the AT-AT™ ATTACK BATTLE GAME, which includes 21 blocks to create the signature AT-AT, a LIGHTSABER LAUNCHER and 12 ANGRY BIRDS STAR WARS figures — including two that are exclusive to this set! Players can also unlock ANGRY BIRDS STAR WARS in-app content with a special code in each pack.

We set up the game. This was the hardest part by far. We had it set up on a card table that wasn't quite stable and every little bump sent the pieces crashing to the table. This was a minor hiccup in our excitement as building is half the fun but if games like Don't Break the Ice and other games which take a lot of time to set up irk you, then this game is not for you. The kids seemed unperturbed about this and started to rebuild. I would definitely suggest you play it on a nice sturdy table or the floor which we eventually did to fix stability issues.

So, you take the Angry Birds, that they have a hole in the bottom. You place it on the lightsaber launcher, pull back the launcher and let it fly. Much like the app, you aim to take out the bad guys perched on top of the blocks. Here is my son's reaction to his first successful shot.



My son liked that you were able to build what you wanted. He even said that you could switch roles and have the bad guys go after the good guys. There's just something about Darth Vader Pig isn't there? We didn't like the shakiness of the product but quickly resolved that by using a sturdier playing surface. One thing I did not like was that after it was assembled, there was no case for you to store them in. It would be nice to have a carrying case so that the game could be more portable. I had to put them in Ziploc bags in order for the pieces to not be lost. I was a bit surprised with the retail price that this was not included in the set.

ANGRY BIRDS™ STAR WARS® MILLENNIUM FALCON™ BOUNCE GAME
(Approximate retail price: $19.99; Ages: 8 & up; Players: 1-2; Available: Now)



Bounce into action with the new ANGRY BIRDS STAR WARS MILLENNIUM FALCON BOUNCE GAME. Bounce three balls at the MILLENNIUM FALCON to knock down as many enemy pigs as possible, and land in the cockpit to score big! Players can also unlock ANGRY BIRDS STAR WARS in-app content with a special code in each pack.

Take the game of PONG and cross with with ANGRY BIRDS STAR WARS and you get this fun hybrid of a game that is sort of like skee-ball. The point is to bounce your good guy ping pong balls onto the table and to either land in one of the openings or knock down bad guy characters. Based on where your ball lands, you receive points for your superior aim and coordination.

When we were putting it together, it harkened back to the old STAR WARS sets which I had to construct from plastic, cardboard, and labels. A few annoying things though. The cockpit is the ultimate point system but the ball sometimes gets stuck in the chute and the front of the MILLENIUM FALCON'S cockpit often falls off quite frequently. Also, after it is assembled, it doesn't fit that easily back into the box as is and there are no bags to keep the pieces in.

Other than those little details, both of my kids LOVED playing with this game and they got quite competitive.




ANGRY BIRDS™ STAR WARS® FOAM FLYERS
(Approximate retail price: $9.99; Ages: 5 & up. Available: Now)



Toss around these 3.5-inch soft foam, iconic characters for a new way to play ANGRY BIRDS STAR WARS! Available in LUKE SKYWALKER, CHEWBACCA, DARTH VADER and STORMTROOPER. Each sold separately.

This is my 2 year old daughter. When she saw this ball she said "This for me?" The packaging says 3 and up, so we gave it a whirl. How could I say no to this smile?



The foam flyer is a foam ball that is squishy. It was soft enough for her to grip and throw easily. After playing catch with it, I came up with a game we could play. We set up some blocks and placed our own pig on the top of the blocks and tried to knock it down. She loved it! The foam flyers come in all different characters, so if you have a little one, playing this game might be an option for you.



Now for the fun part. Let's celebrate May the 4th in style. Want to win your own ANGRY BIRDS™ STAR WARS® AT-AT™ ATTACK BATTLE GAME? One lucky reader will! Go to the Rafflecopter widget below and follow the entry specifics. One random winner will be chosen. Retail Value $39.99. Available now in stores nationwide.

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Legal Stuff: Promotion open to U.S. residents ages 18+, void where prohibited. Winner will be chosen at random on May 2, 2013, and will be notified via email to obtain their shipping address. If no response within 24 hours, an alternate winner will be chosen. Shipping address must be a street address - no P.O. Boxes, must reside in the U.S. Prize provided by Hasbro Gaming and delivered by Hunter PR. Not responsible for lost or misdirected mail.

FTC Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post on behalf of Hasbro. This company has supported my imagination through play for many years and continues to do so. The material posted here are solely Chris Bernholdt's opinions and what I have observed by three very excited children. Thank you Hasbro for giving DadNCharge the opportunity to share your wonderful products.

When You Stay At Home, Peeing Alone Is a Priceless Rarity

It has almost been five years since I started staying at home. I definitely do not get to enjoy my "me time, pee time" like I used to. If you are a stay at home parent you have probably experienced hands under the door, knocking incessantly while you try to go, and questions like "What are you doing in there?" But if you do manage to steal away some time away from the urchins, I highly recommend a book called I Just Want To Pee Alone. This is a hilarious collection of stories from 37 different mom bloggers.

This is the perfect book for any mom out there who has spent time with her kids and the collection of stories has something for everyone. Not only that, but if you are any stay at home parent, male or female, you will be able to relate to these stories. While I can't comment on things that moms have to deal with that are specific to their gender, I still felt as a stay at home dad that this collection of stories had a great variety of laugh out loud moments. Everyone should read it.

The woman spearheading this anthology is Jen, author of the blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat. She collected essays from mom bloggers big and small, who have experience writing for the likes of The Huffington Post, Babble, NickMom, Mamalode, and InThePowderRoom; have been published in Parenting Magazine, Redbook Magazine, and various newspapers; made appearances on programs such as The Katie Show, Ellen, The Dr Oz Show, and Raising America with Kyra Phillips; who have been published in books, won awards for their blogging, and are simply talented enough to run a home and tell a great story.

So head on over to Amazon and buy one for your mom, aunt, sister, cousin, or wife. It would make a great Mother's Day present for that special mom in your life.

I Just Want to Pee Alone is available on Amazon in paperback for $9.99 and on Kindle and iTunes for $4.99.



Below are the links to the contributor's pages. Check them out and read their stories. You won't be disappointed.


People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Insane in the Mom Brain

The Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva

Baby Sideburns

Rants From Mommyland

You Know it Happens at Your House Too

The Underachiever's Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess

My Life and Kids

Bad Parenting Moments

Let Me Start By Saying
 Frugalista Blog

Suburban Snapshots

Ninja Mom

Four Plus an Angel

Honest Mom

Binkies and Briefcases

Naps Happen

Kelley's Break Room

Toulouse & Tonic

HouseTalkN

Hollow Tree Ventures

The Fordeville Diaries

Snarkfest

Mom's New Stage

Nurse Mommy Laughs

The Dose of Reality

The Mom of the Year

Life on Peanut Layne

Momaical

Cloudy, With a Chance of Wine

Confessions of a Cornfed Girl

I Love Them Most When They're Sleeping

You're My Favorite Today
 Funny is Family

My Real Life
Random Handprints
RachRiot

Picking Up The Pieces

Yet another horrible event goes down in the U.S. today. Two separate explosions went off near the finish line at the Boston Marathon today. Watching video of how things unfolded reminds me of every time I have ever had to deal with tragedy in this world. My first time as a teacher when I wrote about what happened on 9/11, the year I explained to my son why we sponsor a child in Haiti whose mother died and is not around to care for him anymore, and when a madman gunned down innocent children at Sandy Hook Elementary. We all know that talking to your kids about tragedy is hard. How do we make sense of these tragedies and move on?

Seeing the report that an 8 year old boy was among the dead just sickens me. Just a week ago a spent A Night At The Museum with my own 8 year old. Is there no where we can go that is safe from these attacks? It really scares me to think that even in places like this, with such a strong police presence at an event that is supposed to be a celebration of a great city, that the unthinkable happens. That somehow bombs were set to go off in order to hurt people. That's the only reason you set a bomb. Yes, you've hurt us. The ways that people seek out to hurt one another in this world saddens and frightens me.

I was nowhere near the action and can only read stories from people who were there. The images are gruesome, the videos unreal, and still in the moments that ensue we see people running TOWARD the explosions. Sure most are running away as they should but watching the video and seeing people rush over to the wounded gives me some hope. Those people are stronger than fear. Not knowing if all is safe and wanting to help whomever is hurt, is still a testament to the good in human nature.

I don't think that it is coincidence that today, in Boston,it was Patriot's Day. President Obama himself said at a press conference, "It's a day that celebrates the free and fiercely independent spirit that this great American city of Boston has reflected from the earliest days of our nation." That is not where the significance ends either. Patriot's Day also holds anniversaries with other significant tragic events. Abby Ohlheiser of The Slatest writes in The Significance of Patriot's Day

"So why were people so quick to speculate about the holiday's possible significance? Undoubtedly because they were inspired by the fact that this week does contain a number of unhappy anniversaries:the Oklahoma City Bombing (April 19, 1995), the Waco assault (April 19, 1993), the Columbine School Shooting (April 20, 1999), and the Virginia Tech massacre (April 16, 2007), for starters. Two of those tragedies—the Virginia Tech massacre and the Waco assault—were on Monday, the Patriot's Day of those years."

For now I pray for the victims and their families. I pray for the people of the great city of Boston to show us what they are made of. I hold my kids and loved ones even tighter. I pray that doesn't happen elsewhere. Of course my wife is away all week in NYC. Two hours from me seems like an eternity. I pray that we can find out who did this, and why and pick up the pieces and move on.